Not sure I can say yes to any of those. Anyway, lets crack on with what's on this weekend!
SATURDAY (15th December)
Tis the season to hold fetes so first up is a Christmas Bazaar at the Coin Street Neighborhood Centre (108 Stamford Street, SE1) from 12pm to 3pm. There will be craft stalls, festive singing and Father Christmas will be there. It's £2 in advance for kids and £3 on the door (adults go free). Tickets include a gift from Santa. Money raised will go to new outdoor play equipment!
To get there, catch the 59 to Waterloo. Get off by the Imax. Stamford Street is off the roundabout.
Staying festive, do you want to sing some carols? Then head to the Brockwell Lido for a Singalong Carol Concert. Tickets are £3 for adults, £1 for 6-16 year olds and under 5s go free! It starts at 4:30 and finishes at 6pm.
Brockwell Lido is situated off Dulwich Road on the edge of Brockwell Park. Catch buses 3, 196 and 37.
Less Christmas, more winter? Then visit the Oasis Nature Garden's Winter Celebration from 11am to 3pm. Buy pressies, drink spiced apple juice and go on a treasure hunt!
The Oasis Nature Garden is located at Larkhall Lane, SW4 6SP. To get there, head for Stockwell. Bus 196 and P5 takes you past Larkhall Lane.
Just want to spend sometime catching up with Santa? Then hop on board the First Capital Connect Santa Special Train. Father Christmas and his elves will be travelling from Bedford to Brighton. Gifts and entertainment for the children! The southbound train calls at Blackfriars at 11.20am and London Bridge at 11.27am. Northbound, the train is scheduled to stop at London Bridge at 1.45pm and Blackfriars at 1.54pm.
To get to London Bridge station hop on the 133 or 35. To get to Blackfriars, catch the 45.
Staying by the river, head to the Southbank Centre and at 2pm, catch power-wheelchair dance troupe Rhinestone Rollers do a free performance in the Clore Ballroom. The 59 to Waterloo will take you there.
Follow the river around to Lambeth Bridge and pop into the Garden Museum for a free family event making a snow globe. Join the morning session between 11am to 12:30pm or the afternoon session of 1:30pm to 3pm.
The nearest buses past the museum is the 3 and 344.
SUNDAY (16th December)
Well, that was a busy Saturday so I have just a couple of things for you today.
Pop down the road to Balham which has a free ice skating rink this weekend. Located on Bedford Hill, next to Sainsbury it's open from 11am to 6pm.
Balham is served by buses 249, 315, 355 and 155. It can also be reached by the underground and the overground!
Alternatively, take a visit to Market Row in Brixton as Seven and Casa Morita are fundraising by offering hot chocolate, mulled wine, churos and children's activities.
Buses through Brixton include P4, P5, 188, 196, 59, 159, 3, 133, 333, 45, 345, and 37. Alternatively you can catch the tube or the overground into the area.
Don't get too cold! Have a lovely weekend!